Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Can the traditional family survive feminism?

This is a great article written by Carolyn Graglia:

http://www.mtio.com/articles/aissar85.htm

Although I don't agree with all of her views, she makes great points in explaining how feminism has affected society on a whole and especially how society now views homemakers. I definitely think that there should be more encouragement for women who desire being homemakers on a long term basis.

I am proud to go against the grain by being a housewife because I am proud of my grandmother and my mother's heritage. I have always been a nester and felt a sense of void when I was single and so career driven in college! I used to believe all those feminist lies when I first had no choice but not to work at the beginning of our marriage and for many years afterwards due to my health issues. It made me feel miserable. I had to go online and seek the friendship of like minded women for support and discovered that I was not alone! I realized that being a housewife is an honor and a blessing, and decided despite many struggles due to outside society influence that I was fine with my choice now that my health is better. We plan on having children and wish for me to be a full time mother!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

The good old days vs. now

It bothers me when modern people think 50's housewives were all brainless, weak, unintelligent and submissive to their husbands. This kind of reasoning insults our grandmothers who were hard working, frugal, a big part of the community and raising educated and well mannered children. It also puts down the fathers of that time who fought wars to protect the freedom of their wives and children.

Women were greatly educated and did well in school. They used their education at home and were a big influence on their families and friends. I've talked to a few old women who greatly cherish their time spent in the 50's.

Domestic violence since then has gone up despite the fact that the majority of women now work. Obesity is rampant, schools have issues and many children do not have manners. We thought it was sexist for a wife to be at home, yet we see women pose as sexual objects everywhere (meanwhile many men continue to dress conservatively). Two-income family earners are taxed less and the cost of living is ridiculous compared with the 1950's lifestyle. Debt is rampant and people continue to value money and possessions over relationships. Thanks to no fault divorce, there are a lot of single moms struggling. Globalisation happened and we now buy cheap items made from low wage earners while the CEOs make millions. Marriages have become a competition between the spouses as to making and spending equal amounts of money, and doing the same chores: like roommates instead of best friends & wife and husband.

Housewives make things that save on spending for goods and services, such as clothing, bread, meals and shopping for bargains. So really, I am observing what happened since the 50's and wonder if we really have it better, or if it's simply a matter of pros and cons for each decade...I am of course making general observations and do no wish to lump everyone together or saying my way is better. I just wonder why we don't focus more on building strong morals and values independent from judging others from their work status. Wouldn't that make people less judgemental and nicer toward one another?

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Home and family are the backbone of society

Have you ever wondered what sufferings the people that do not like home life have gone through? Did they have a bad childhood, are their hearts hardened or have they been simply turned off to the noble position that is of a housewife due to the heavy media influence?

Are they pessimistic about life and the future? Do they wish to continually stereotype you into a lazy or crazy housewife? Are they worried about trusting a man or a woman in a one-income marriage? Have they been told to always expect the worst qualities of men?

Is it a lack of education toward homemaking skills or toward mothers and children in general?

Whenever someone passes a judgement on you for being a housewife, have some compassion. Do not think for a second that working is morally superior. Do not let others define who you are by imposing their own labels and stereotypes upon you. Hope and pray that they understand someday. There are some judgemental people that won't back off: it is best to walk away. Most of the time, they have not experienced being a housewife so they can't comprehend it.

When there are good relationships and order in a home, children grow up happier. A bad childhood is hard for people to get over and their adult lives are still heavily influenced by it. Society I think would be better if we could all just treat each other with respect and tolerance for our differences.

If a woman grows up with an abusive father and a victim housewife mom, she could find radical feminism very enticing and go to other extreme way of life which is looking at housework, marriage and child rearing as unfulfilling and unempowering. This is how many feminists started their writing their books which led to movements: Betty Friedan hated her mother and Gloria Steinem grew up in a broken home with a mentally ill mother. Betty Friedan blamed housewives for all the ills of society and lumped all men into possible abusers. It is scary to think some people will lump a whole group of individuals and treat them like second class citizens. Housewives are no exception: there is no excuse for discrimination no matter what. Gender feminism is in my opinion the most harmful type of feminism there is as it elevates women against men and is quite anti-family.

The answer is not to be at war with marriage, homemaking, children and men but to make peace and hope for better relationships. You are the heart of your home. You are not only a cook and a cleaner, but your spiritual influence is vital and cannot be calculated in a materialistic kind of way. Happiness is possible at home if we put our hearts into it. Taking care of others is a very noble thing to do as well.

Being physically strong and independent are empowering, okay, but there is nothing weak about the power of the feminine wife either.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Making every day a special day

I like to use my homemaking skills to create a special atmosphere at home. I treasure traditional holidays and special occasions, but I think I could definitely improve every day living by making home more special.

I am guilty of waiting until a special item can no longer be used because I kept waiting for a special occasion to use it! I know some people use their china every day. Table cloths, candles, linen napkins, fresh flowers and home cooking scents add a nice touch to home living. I am also a fan of dressing nicely, but practically at home. It makes me feel good and I like looking nice for my family as they are the most important people in my life.

I view the home as not only a place to relax, eat and sleep but as a place where I can nest, be creative, take care of loved ones and enjoying hospitality. I try to make everything fun, even the less enjoyable cleaning jobs as the reward in itself when it's done is satisfying. Decorating is such a joy as well.

Sure, I could pay people to do my job for me, but no one would put as much personal care into it as I could. I add my personal touches to taking care of my home while keeping my husband's needs important.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Fall flavors

I am so excited about the wonderful upcoming fall season! Such wonderful squash, apple, pear and stew scents invade our homes at this time of year, and all those gorgeous colorful leaves!

It's going to be fun to use my oven more and discover new recipes. I love traditions such as Thanksgiving when we can all focus on great food and family! I used to go apple picking as a kid and loved everything from the hay ride, to making apple crisp and cake with my mom. Taking nature walks in parks is also a fun way to reconnect with nature.

I find I love to nest at home when the weather gets chilly! A home fire, a nice blanket and some hot cider, tea or hot chocolate hits the spot.

Enjoy your home this fall season! :)

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The war against housewives

The word housewife has been wrongly associated with mysoginy and sexism. Terms like "barefoot and pregnant", "slavery", "home as a comfortable concentration camp", "just being a housewife" and more keep being used by feminists as to reinforce their view that the only true liberation in life is to work.

Moderate feminists will of course say that feminism is all about equality and the right to choose. However, society values money over home life and that is directly related to feminism. The terms "SAHM" and "domestic engineer" have replaced the word housewife in modern society as there is a huge stigma in choosing to stay home without kids, when the kids are in school or after they leave the nest. Housework is viewed as drudgery and unfulfilling, and saying we are housewives make radical feminists believe we are backward, unproductive, lazy, wasting our education and betraying their sisterhood. So what were they saying it is about choice? I am for equalism and am glad women are treated much better now. These women rights could have been accomplished with a different kind of movement in my opinion.

Any movement that looks good on paper risks being taken too far by power hungry leaders. It is a fact that a housewife is now a dirty word because of feminism. I treasure my womanhood and feminine attributes, and feel that taking care of a home full time is as valid as working, so is taking care of children: our future's next generation. Above all paid work and money, I value respect, good morals and kindness. It is about time money stops being viewed as the new God and that people stop putting down others for their choices!

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Victorian era

I really enjoy the cozy feeling of Victorian homes. They are so beautiful and classy! It is my ideal dream house. Just the details that went into building such a home are so inspiring. The front porch was a place to gather socially.

I also love the beautiful paintings of the time, showing the gorgeous dresses women used to wear. Home life and family were very important as well as moral values. Manners, respect and etiquette were an invalable part of raising children.

I love Victorian furniture and dishes, so lovely! Of course, like any era, life was not always good, but I am inspired by the time and care people put into home life back then.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

A family oriented life

I've felt under the weather for the past few days, but feel better today!

There is a great deal of comfort in knowing your family is safe and sound, and well taken care of. In today's world, the individual seems to be talked to the most and generosity values don't appear to be as important...The family life is a great deal that takes a lot of effort to manage. Raising children is not for the faint of heart: it is very difficult and challenging. Still, the children's well being is crucial and should be considered seriously.

Sure, we need to be happy in order to be able to give. But what message does the media seem to project nowadays? They project the view that fathers and men are idiots who can't think right and that their wives and children are always more intelligent than them. We have kids shows displaying the ultimate life goal of fame instead of education. Some parents dress their little girls like women (more like prostitutes) instead of preserving purity and childhood. Some parents are so competitive when it comes to their children's sports activities that it's not so fun anymore.

I certainly don't want a society likes this to raise my future children. If anything, I want to teach them to think for themselves and I want them to be responsible and well behaved, but still be kids! We want our children to grow up too fast and imitate adults (or the immature adults!). Playing outside is important! I don't want to overschedule them with activities and not have the time to use their imagination.

I don't claim to be perfect: in fact, I am sure that as a parent, I will make tons of mistakes, but thinking and planning ahead helps me have an idea of how I want to raise them. The past wasn't perfect, but nor is the present. We can certainly learn a thing or two from the past, I know I do! Families used to spend their evenings in their living room singing songs and reciting poems and stories around their piano. That is certainly something I want to recreate. There was also no such thing as a teenager as they were expected to work and be responsible. I certainly don't want our kids never to lift a finger at home: they will have age appropriate chores which will help them learn how to maintain a home for their future.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Dutch women among the happiest women in the world

Here is the link to an interesting article:

http://www2.macleans.ca/2011/08/19/the-feminismhappiness-axis/

I find it fascinating to read the feminists' opinion in this article! Despite the fact that many Dutch women interviewed are very happy working part time and successfully balancing their lives whether they have kids or not, feminists are angry that these women are not aiming for a big full time corporate job!

Since when is it anyone's business what we choose to do with our lives? Plus, not everyone that wants to work is fit to work in the corporate world, let alone wants that kind of lifestyle in which you are basically married to your job.

That is one of the reasons why I don't adhere to feminism. If it had started as a peaceful movement with a leader such as Gandhi, I certainly might not have the same opinion.

I also want to point out that the 60's feminist movement would not have had happened before the Industrial Revolution as jobs back then were very physically challenging and not appealing to women in general. We then got a whole new industry of jobs available for both men and women to do that were a lot more comfortable.

I am lucky in the sense that I grew up in a stable home with a family oriented father whose whole life has always been his family. I never felt the need to date bad boys and so I married a family oriented man. It is women I have encountered throughout my life that have been mean toward me for the most part. I understand a lot of women are hurt and angry toward men that have hurt them, but they have to keep faith that there are good men out there!