Thursday, June 30, 2011

Have a nice weekend!

Have a nice celebration weekend, everyone!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Matriarchy has replaced patriarchy

I find that neither matriarchy nor patriarchy is healthy. In fact, anything that promotes hatred and oppression toward one another should be eliminated.

We women are hurt from a past full of sexism. So we rebelled and went far the other way: too far in my opinion. We started to find marriage, children and homemaking oppressive and categorized all men into abusers.

I think a return to the center is needed. I dislike extremes. Our goal in life is to be the best people we can be and grow. Any movement that starts out good ends up being taken too far.

We should raise our children into being morally good, as well as ladies and gentlemen who respect one another. I am often discouraged in how society is quick to generalize, judge and stereotype. It is not okay.

Many women who were homemakers but became divorced have been loud in becoming anti-homemaking. I say just because something bad happened to you doesn't mean you need to tell others how to live their lives.

Women need to become more ladylike in their behavior and treatment of men, and men need to be gentlemen who treat their wives as equals with the utmost respect.

I guess that is why I am neither conservative nor liberal: a centrist who takes positives in both views and leave the judgemental mess aside. I am not perfect, nor claim to be: but I say a lot of things need to be taken in moderation nowadays as any movement taken to an extreme can become dangerous.

So with all that said, I pray that working women will be as supportive of me as I am of them, for I believe there is nothing wrong with being a homemaker by choice. It is hard to fit in in today's society, but as with my latest epiphany post said: personal life is personal. There is no right or best way to live and everyone should be free to find their own fulfillment and happiness in life. Focusing on adversity is too stressful and depressing, hence why I feel a need to defend myself and take a stand, as it had started to affect my homemaking.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Ode to Mondays

Mondays are when the relaxing weekends are over
When I wake up early and start blessing our home again
As weekends are made up of only basic chores in order to spend time with family

There is no need to rush out the door
As everything I need to do is right here at home

I love Mondays: it is a good way to start the week
It brings me some peace and quiet
Fun and creative homemaking takes place again

Happy Mondays!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Keep it simple

Weekdays don't have to be filled with a million tasks and five dish meals: in fact, the simpler and more peaceful you organize your days, the happier you will be!

Reheating leftovers in the microwave or on the stove, making simple soup meals with bread or a simple salad to accompany a roast chicken, all can take little time and preparation.

Blessing your home, taking your time and smiling while cleaning will make it feel more calm and less stressful, as well as more enjoyable. In this rush rush rush society, we all need a little simplicity and peace. After all, what is the point of avoiding the daily rush at work but creating one at home that will only lead to burn out?

Now I am not advocating laziness, but to save one's energy to be able do spread it out throughout the day, especially if you don't feel well. Rest a few hours, catch up on homemaking books and blogs, and don't feel bad about it, as you will feel refreshed to continue with your day later on.

Homemaking is about doing what makes us happy while taking care of others. While pampering ourselves is healthy, we must remember to give first and not expect to receive. But if we have no energy left, nothing will get done correctly.

So take it easy, don't fret and enjoy your life's blessings!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Femininity

Most girl and women images we see portrayed in the media are "bad girls". They like to dress very sexy, are loud mouthed and flirt a lot. A lot of singers and actresses want to get away from the good girl image. It has influenced the way our teenage girls, and now tweens and little girls, dress.

Feminists have let us know we are in control when we dress that way. But how? Women want attention when they dress sexy, and I am afraid it attracts the wrong kind of men: superficial and non committed. Feminists tell us about the double standard: that men do that too and don't get judged. Really? I've never found those men attractive and certainly not worthy of maturity and marriage. So suddenly, we all have to view ourselves as objects in order to perhaps fill a self esteem void inside.

There is too much peer and social pressures on girls to look sexy. A woman in control of her body is one that dresses soft and feminine, and keeps her private parts for her private life. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind seeing skin, especially in well produced art, but I think we should think twice about what sort of influence what we wear has on others and what we want to project.

Personally I am at the point of wanting to dress in a more mature and womanly way. I always smile when I wear soft make up and a dress. It seems dresses and skirts have been mostly relegated to special occasions nowadays, unfortunately.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Dare to be you

I must say I really had an aha moment when I wrote my last post and it made me feel better to articulate my thoughts into words.

I have never thought of myself as a feminist, even when I felt driven to have a career. But I had never realized how much feminism had infuenced my way of thinking as it is how society mostly runs today.

The most extreme feminists burned bras, rejected all femininity and acted like men as much as possible. They also wanted to eradicate marriage and make homemaking illegal. They thought all men were out to get us.

I say it is time we stop acting like victims from men and follow our own destinies. Men feel good when they provide for their families. It makes them feel proud and protective. Men are NOT naturally inclined to clean like women do. Some are, but most won't care about the little details that are involved in taking care of a home. At the same token, women often times feel bad about not being able to clean right and see their children.

We cannot deny our need to nest and nurture in order to live like a man, it just does not work that way, well at least for someone like me who takes pride in being a homemaker. Unfortunately, in order to "prove" worthiness, women are mentally forced by society to have a career, as housework and child rearing is viewed as demeaning. It is all about money, nevermind that an income coming from a man is and should be the family's income, not separate.

Like I've said before, if it makes YOU feel good and powerful to have a career, I say go you! I will watch from behind and applaud your efforts. But it is not the only way to show intellect, worthiness, self respect and independence. Women like me want to dedicate our lives to homemaking as doing it full time takes a lot of effort and energy.

If only family was back to being viewed as a natural and essential way of being, as opposed to something we keep fighting to demean, then I think children would come out less confused and more behaved.

Feminism told us to postpone having children until we establish career. But you know what? Career never ends. There are always more ladders to climb and more goals to accomplish. It leads to potential misery for a woman who has always wanted to be a homemaker, but who ends up working for the female pressure of it and to pay off her student loans, second car, day care, work clothes, big mortgage and expectation from the man she chose to marry who does not want her to stay home. She married him thinking there is something wrong with her not wanting to work for money.

I say enough is enough! There is nothing wrong with being a woman and concentrating on what makes you happy. I am glad for what feminism has done for me: more rights and the right to vote etc., but it has also brought a higher divorce rate, no obligation for men to get committed and be gentlemen, promiscuity is accepted and praised, children are viewed as something in your way and men and women's relationships are more confused and confusing than ever before. House prices are based on two (high) incomes, as well as many goods and services.

For as long as I live, I will probably never be fully respected for being a housewife, as I will always be prejudiced against. And it is sad, but the only thing I can do is to live my life to the fullest and be happy, otherwise I will be stressed out and feel miserable trying to live according to today's society rules!

Well if you've made it this far, congrats, lol!!! I will next write about femininity.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Feeling free to be me

Something has been bothering me a lot lately...Because the only support I get for being a homemaker comes from my husband and my online friends (who live too far away, snif!), I have started to listen to the negative comments constantly thrown at me and not take enough pleasure in taking care of my home.

It would be different if people would simply be genuinely concerned about my happiness and take me aside to ask me how I am doing. I would gracefully reassure them that I am fine and that there is nothing wrong with being a homemaker. But no! Most people simply view me as undriven, unmotivated, lazy, a leech and a bad person (literally!) for not holding a job.

I say, no more! From now on, I will say I am a proud homemaker whether people like it or not. If they think it is wrong to be one, I say there seriously is a huge part of them that is insecure about their own life choices. Treating me like dirt ain't going to fly anymore. In fact, I don't need those people in my life, however nice they might seem and however right they think their reasoning is!

It is not easy at all to take a stand. The problem does start with me with my everlasting perfectionism, self doubt and my need to please people. A part of us is still in Junior High, trying to fit in, after all.

I have NO issue with working women and mothers. This is not what this blog is about. I don't want people to be like me, that would make the world quite bizarre and boring! I will never impose my own lifestyle choice on anyone just to feel superior or arrogant.

Arrogance and power are destructive. The simple FACT of being a housewife (yes, I love this term as much as homemaker) is not repulsive or disgusting. Talk about stereotyping and judging! It is the men that wanted to be falsely powerful that belittled their wives, gave them no access to the family money and told them they were stupid that is repulsive. We women are smart and beautiful and should be able to do anything we want, including being a homemaker, doctor, teacher or in the army!

My problem is that women, in their constant need to be mean toward other women, feel that the ONLY choice is to work, make it depressing and difficult for women to continue being proud stay at home moms and wives.

I could be anything I want, short of being a doctor. I am not at home because I am mentally ill, lazy or any of the above I have already mentioned. There are never enough hours in a day to study and do everything I want in life. Hobbies and interests are valid and fun to accomplish. I chose to spend my time and energy to be home, out of my own freewill. I cannot multiply myself and be everywhere at the same time. Something has to give. Women have done this for thousands of years. It is only now that it is viewed as odd. Just because I have so many options does not mean I should take them all.

I am taking a stand today and hoping to find real life support. Doing less than my purpose drains both mine and my husband's energy as he constantly has to reassure me in my choice.

Let's take a stand together!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Warm breakfast

There is nothing like waking up to a warm breakfast. Better yet: a made from scratch homemade one! Your family will thank you and will feel that you made it extra special for them.

Whether it is pancakes, waffles, hard boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, bacon, homemade muffins and breads or oatmeal, it definitely feels like a treat! We homemakers have the time to make breakfast time a sit down meal. It is after all, the most important meal of the day! A calm start to a busy day is indeed needed.

A warm breakfast doesn't have to be relegated to weekends. It just takes a little extra time and preparation, but it is all worth it in the end.

I hope you have a lovely day!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Modern times vs. Vintage

I've never felt like I've totally fitted in. I find that something is missing in modern times. I can't pinpoint my finger on exactly why, but I know it is difficult to live the way I live without similar mindsets around me...

I love both modern and vintage ideals, well the ones I agree with, and aim to find as much balance in my life as I can.

If I were to have lived in the past, I think living in the present I would miss seeing girls and ladies in pretty dresses, chivalry, manners, small businesses and the affordability of life on one income.

It all starts with me however and changing my mindset. I want to be myself and not try to fit in with ideals I disagree with just to please people!

Monday, June 6, 2011

Dreaming of a country life

We live in a great suburb not too far from my favorite city in the world, yet I keep wondering what life could be like in the countryside, especially since we live so close to it.

We both have always lived in suburbia and could never live in a city despite the fact that we love spending a day in town. What attracts me to country living that wouldn't be too far from our life here are:

-Cheaper housing and more land, secluded from neighbors;
-Slower pace of life;
-More room to store homemade goods and vegetable garten;
-Beautiful surroundings and quietness.

Time will tell if we decide to do it! The only downfall would be to be further away from services...